I spent a lot of night time this weekend lying awake and doing a great deal of nothing. Not because I had big plans to do this, or small plans for that matter. You see I have a thing: I can’t fall asleep when people are screaming about nothing right outside my bedroom door. And my dorm room is one room, so it is in essence my bedroom. If people scream things of substance it is very likely to put me to sleep, but a bit of general screaming will keep me awake. Luckily, the foreign land to which I’ve travelled seems to be a place where general screaming is an acceptable and widely practiced action. Through fault entirely my own, I’ve become a sleepless person hence. I should have known. I didn’t know this before but maybe you’d like to, it’s quite difficult to care about things when you haven’t dreamt in almost a week.
I’m beginning to think that maybe this is a bad situation. I’ve hoped it would resolve itself but I’ve been remiss in keeping note that natural selection is a lengthly process, and even in the end the unworthy continue to exist because of their cleverness in the face of the fates. I do understand, though, that not being able to justify your place in the world is an adult problem, and it’s good that I’m dealing with it because that would imply the progression of time is moving along as it should be.
With my spare time I’ve been writing letters to people. I’ve written two so far and I look forward to writing more. Perhaps I should be spending my time doing homework.
The first letter I wrote is to the president. It is 2100 words long, approximately, including a short salutation. I wrote another letter to Alan Grayson. It’s about how awesome he is. It’s only like 500 words approximately but those words are very special. The letter to Obama is about God and death and the letter to Alan Grayson is about Alan Grayson. I think it would be an insult to God and death if I could find in myself more words on Alan Grayson than on God or death, even separately.
In other news, I peed on my hand by accident. I’ll save that story for a letter to Scott Peterson though. I’ll share it with you when I finish so you can find out more about that.
This is a list of what I consider to be the best songs of the decade. It has been largely assembled using a mathematical algorithm. Perhaps if you are a person, you may have different ideas about this list than those which I have represented here. However, I’m confident I have a good grasp on the rational consciousness of my generation and consider these thoughts to be a fair representation of such. These are the songs that I think my generation will remember as the greatest ones when the idea of things like Disney, emo music and the hip-hop takeover of the music industry are factored out.
10. “Hurt” – Johnny Cash (2002)
;__;
9. “Jesus, Etc.” – Wilco (2002)
The 9th greatest song of the decade was on the album that Reprise Records thought was so bad that they kicked Wilco out the door and told them to enjoy their hand. This song is a beautiful and subversive masterpiece. You won’t hear it right away, but give it some time and a few car rides and this song will blossom like one of those blossoming teas that get bigger and more flavorful when you put them in hot water. I think they used to make sponges like that too. But they don’t make much music like this anymore. Even Wilco doesn’t.
8. “B.O.B.” – OutKast (2000)
Dearly beloved, we gather here to say our goodbyes. Here lies this sick beat, which Andre 3000 and Big Boi have fucking killed. I mean shit. The words just keep going and going and going and going and “bombs over Baghdaaaaaaaad, yeah”. OutKast really had something great while they did. They were able to fill in the gaps of the black music industry in the 90s and 00s: they built a bridge from the funkadelic-futuristic artists that existed in the early 90s and the mainstream hip-pop emerging later in the decade. They made accessible, sick as shit music upon which rested the merit of the entire rap industry.
7. “Can’t Get You out of My Head” – Kylie Minogue (2002)
This song is perfect. There is a very satisfying feeling that you get when you hear the beat, and the interbeat, and the way Kylie sings each word in perfect 4/4 with the beat. It’s a sick, satisfying beat with a few detached vocals thrown in to help you gauge the time that has passed while you just tripped out and got lost in the sick beat. It is executed so exquisitely it has to be appreciated at a quantum level. That is something so rarely seen with music—let alone pop music—that an occurrence of such a perfectly OCD thing should be treasured and you should thank your higher power that in the vastness of space and the eternity of time your atoms have assembled in the epoch in which this also existed.
6. “Idioteque” – Radiohead (2000)
I don’t know quite why this song is so beautiful. I can’t explain it because I really don’t understand. Besides being Thom Yorke’s strongest vocal performance since “Fake Plastic Trees”, this song really has little to offer. If you figure it out let me know please.
5. “One More Time” – Daft Punk (2001)
What is there to say about Daft Punk? The ability to assemble dance music is not usually considered a great thing deserving of appreciation, as kids assemble dance music in their basements and the results sound no different than the assemblies of the so-called “professionals”. Daft Punk, though, has an unmatched talent in the field of dance music assembly. They create musical landscapes into which one can escape and inside which one’s body succumbs to the beat and is free to move about as desired. Yeah, they make pretty music that makes you dance. This song is so perfect because of the way it sounds like it’s coming from inside of your head and you’re on lots of drugs. When you hear it, it doesn’t sound like you’re listening to music, it sounds like your brain stem is conducting an electronica symphony and directing it from the back of your neck up to the sides of your head. What an accomplishment of auditory sciences, am I right or what?
4. “99 Problems” – Jay-Z (2003)
Jay-Z always finds a way to just fucking revolutionize hip-hop. This mess of a song sounds like no hip-hop song written before or since. Landing somewhere between industrial black metal and biting spoken word, this song searches out borders and tears them to pieces. I mean, who else other than Jay-Z can say the words “nigger”, “hoe” and “paparazzi” in a song that is considered to be great social commentary? Jay has a great compositional and lyrical ability, unmatched by any other artist out there. He is easily the best hip-hop artist of my generation, but no matter what he does in the future he will always be remembered for this.
3. “Stan” – Eminem feat. Dido (2000)
Uhh, okay. This is fucked up shit. Eminem has a sick fucking mind. How he has ideas like this in his head and manages to continue to live is really, really beyond me. It gives me chills now, but I cried the first few hundred times I listened to this song. It even gets predictable after a while but it gets no less heartbreaking.
2. “Intervention” – Arcade Fire (2007)
I bet you’re wondering why, as someone who thinks Arcade Fire is a group of talentless hacks, I’ve ranked this song here. Well, perhaps I’m biased. This song really came to me at a very, very opportune time and filled a void in my life which I had set aside for a song I imagined to be exactly like this. It was winter. I was fighting with my faith, with my hopes and fears, with my identity, and I was intently and expansively delving into the history of World War II in an attempt to find some kind of purpose and meaning in it that I couldn’t seem to convince myself existed. This song is probably more important to me personally than it is to the decade, but let me try to assign some kind of meaning here. It really is applicable to a very prevalent mentality of the Millennials, who essentially own the rights to this decade. I mean, this generation has seen three pointless wars, we’re in the midst of a time when religion is fervently abandoned and just as fervently defended, we’re all poor as shit and deep down we’re all having the same existential crisis. So much of this song just strokes and caresses every bit of faith I have to my generation, and I think in time this song will stand out more and more as a symbol for so much of what this decade has been for the Millennial generation.
1. “Hey Ya!” – Andre 3000 (2003)
I don’t know how he does it. Andre is a genius who god has damned out of jealousy. He is fearless. If he had had fear in him, this song would not be what it is. What makes this song—and really, all of The Love Below—so good is Andre 3000’s fearlessness in making an album that could have so easily failed. If this song were executed in a way any less perfect, if were changed any small bit, it would have passed through the public consciousness with not so much as a second glance. Instead, it was constructed as it was and as it is and it trickled onto radio waves and laid its claim to them for about two whole years. The top 40 stations played it with moderate regularity for several months, then it moved to the first-teir radio stations that your mom sometimes listens to because they play a lot of “modern” music that isn’t too offensive. It rested there for over a year, and by then the second-tier and even some third-teir stations picked it up. It was and still is a musical phenomenon, either of pure brilliance or pure luck.
I hope you all enjoyed it. Have a terrible weekend.
This is a list of what I consider to be the best songs of the decade. It has been largely assembled using a mathematical algorithm. Perhaps if you are a person, you may have different ideas about this list than those which I have represented here. However, I’m confident I have a good grasp on the rational consciousness of my generation and consider these thoughts to be a fair representation of such. These are the songs that I think my generation will remember as the greatest ones when the idea of things like Disney, emo music and the hip-hop takeover of the music industry are factored out.
20. “Reckoner” – Radiohead (2008)
You don’t need to understand any of the words in this song (not that you’d be able to if you tried). You just need to close your eyes, sit back and let it flow over you like a splash of alcohol over your hippocampus. The inability of Thom Yorke to form what human beings consider to be “words” adds to this song’s sense of intense, detached longing and allows for the listener to impose his or her own vague ideas into the music. It’s just a beautiful piece of composition, at surface level and when broken down on a psychological level.
19. “Rebellion” – Arcade Fire (2004)
Okay. As someone who admittedly dislikes Arcade Fire, I’ve ranked this song higher than just about every single indie circle-jerk establishment around. Why? Two words: Owen Pallet. The strings on this song are beautiful enough to make up for the terrible, awful cacophony of a thing that Win Bulter calls his singing voice. Owen Pallet’s string arrangement is beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, even for being nothing more than just a few simple notes. The intricacies of this song make it great: the subtle Black Sabbath-esque guitar playing softly in the left channel, the perfect bass and the sense that the chattery, bellowing sound of a group of voices is passing in and out of your consciousness at various times throughout the process of the song. And the god damn strings.
18. “Won’t Go Home Without You” – Maroon 5 (2007)
This song is our generation’s “Every Breath You Take”. In fact, the bass line and rhythm guitar of “Won’t Go Home Without You” are based on the The Police song. And you know what? It doesn’t matter that it’s creepy, or that it’s slightly unoriginal. The same phenomenon that surrounded “Every Breath You Take” also surrounds this song. It’s a great, solid pop song with a good beat, recognizable lyrics and an archetype story line with applicability to more than one situation. It reaches people. It’s delivered with a perfectly-executed air of detachment that really just tickles the psychology geek inside me. It is one of the few pop songs that I can listen to without wanting to skip to the next song halfway through. You have to watch the video, too. Alex comes back from the dead and breaks Adam Levine's heart. :( Skip the first 16 seconds though.
17. “Mr. Brightside” – The Killers (2004)
Why The Killers chose now to formulate and why they’ve had so much success with their brand of music stylings is beyond the grasp of modern understanding. Perhaps we’ll understand it when we can prove P=NP, or solve the disparity between quantum mechanics and Relativity, or when we discover the Higgs-Boson particle, or perhaps it has something to do with what is happening on the hit ABC drama program Lost. The fact of the matter is that The Killers make good music, despite the fact that the common conception of the idea of “good music” is stacked heavily against them. This song is a very good song. In fact, it’s the 17th best song of the decade. And what does it establish? It establishes quite fully that Brandon Flowers is “Mr. Brightside”. What in the fuck that means is lost on humanity, but whatever it is, it is super gay.
16. “The Scientist” – Coldplay (2002) (Couldn't find an embeddable video so here.) I admit that Colplay is a near-meritless front for a group of Radiohead/Arcade Fire/Joe Satriani plagiarists, but I don’t give a fuck mostly because of this song. This song is just beautiful. Just. Beautiful. The lyrics are arguably Coldplay’s strongest and most sensible, the melody is brilliant in it’s simplicity and it’s crudeness. Not crude in the harmonic sense, but in the sense that it was recorded on a shitty piano, adding to the feeling of a nerdy, love-lorn kid lamenting into a microphone in his basement that the lyrics set forth. The second verse really, really catches me for some reason. “I was just guessing/at numbers and figures/pulling the puzzles apart. Questions of science/science and progress/do not speak as loud as my heart.” Maybe I’m assigning false meaning to this, but I find it beautiful, a beautiful concept.
15. “Such Great Heights” – The Postal Service (2003)
What a revolutionary song, am I right? I mean, who hasn’t heard this song? Maybe deaf people.
14. “Meant To Live” – Switchfoot (2004) [Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.] Because we were meant to live for so much more.
13. “Lose Yourself” – Eminem (2002)
This song really came along at the right moment. With 8 Mile and Eminem being at the height of his commercial career and the whole novelization of the idea of rap, this song really just captured a moment in the public consciousness. The picture it paints and the story it tells will never again be relevant as an idea, and the song really makes sense if you were there. But it does its job so well.
12. “Time to Pretend” – MGMT (2007)
This really captures the mentality of almost and entire generation. It doesn’t make sense to people on the outside, though, like i’s like a secret language between twins or best friends, set to music. Ball-tripping music.
11. “Jesus Walks” – Kanye West (2004)
This is Kanye’s masterpiece. This song never fails to give me chills. Like, chills. Arm-hair-standing-straight-up-type of chills. Kanye so perfectly with this song captured a loaded picture of the hip-hop industry, one that is surprisingly as relevant today as it was when it was first captured. Either Kanye really knows how to pick his battles, or this was a very big surprise. Regardless, it’s awesome.
COME BACK TOMORROW FOR THE TOP TEN SONGS OF THE DECAAAAAAAAADE
This is a list of what I consider to be the best songs of the decade. It has been assembled using a mathematical algorithm, so don’t blame me for the song placement. Blame math.
35. “Take Your Mama” – Scissor Sisters (2004)
What is this song about.
34. “At Your Funeral” – Saves The Day (2001)
With this song, Saves The Day built the first bridge from good punk to good pop-punk that still had punk cred.
33. “Crazy” – Gnarls Barkley (2006)
Whatever genre this song is, it completely owns it. This song has a beautiful tune that sounds good in any other genre, like indie Britpop, folk and whatever in the hell you call this shit.
32. “Freakish” – Saves The Day (2001)
This song is a great accomplishment.
31. “Dice” – Finley Quaye & William Orbit (2004)
I only know of this song because it was on The O.C. It was perfect on the show, and even years later I find it just as good. There’s something very simple about it that brings out the minor intricacies. It’s very pretty.
30. “Umbrella” – Rihanna feat. Jay-Z (2007)
I know. Why the hell is this song here? Other than being one of the top-played songs of the decade, it also produced an awesome amount of cover versions. A song that can be covered brilliantly by a wide variety of artists indicates, to me, a special class of greatness. “Umbrella” even launched the commercial career of Marié Digby. And what a music video, am I right? Damn.
29. “23” – Jimmy Eat World (2004) [Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.] One of the best emo songs of the decade. This is a great musical thought.
28. “Certain Tragedy” – Saves The Day (2001) [Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.] The lyrics are just so great.
27. “American Idiot” – Green Day (2004)
This song marked a turning point in Green Day history and brought them back to the enlightenment of the public spotlight. It’s also a social commentary bit, and it’s also a great adrenaline booster.
26. “Glorious Dawn” – Colorpulse feat. Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking (2009)
So did you ever think you’d hear Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking credited in any song, let alone in the same song or in the 27th best song in the decade? This song is spectacular, it is beautiful, it is a fantastic tribute to one of my person heroes. This song is the most listened-to song on my new laptop—and it’s been out for under two months. Last week I paid six dollars for a vinyl copy of the song from Jack White’s record company. I really can’t say enough good things about this song.
25. “Hoppípolla” – Sigur Ros (2005)
You may know this song from one of the many Slumdog Millionaire commercials, or you may know it because you have great taste. Sigur Ros makes some beautiful freaking music.
24. “Chicago” – Sufjan Stevens (2005)
Just like everything Sufjan does, this song is super-pretty and emotional in a very detached and subliminal way.
23. “Bruised” – Jack’s Mannequin (2005) [Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.] What makes this song great is that after having it in my playlist for just about 2 years straight, I have not tired of it. It’s not even that good, but it really is that good.
22. “Stay” – Sugarland (2006)
I admittedly have a soft spot for country music, but this is by far one of my favorites of all time. Of all time. I’m pretty sure this song won a Grammy, too. Sugarland is brilliant.
21. “Nightingale” – Saves The Day (2001)
Saves The Day really owned this section of the countdown. Maybe a little bit of that was due to some bias on my part for including them in the algorithm in the first place, but come on. This song is frakking great. By far my favorite Saves The Day song of all time. Of all time.
Come back tomorrow for the first half of the top 20 songs of the decade!!!
This is a list of what I consider to be the best songs of the decade. It has been assembled using a mathematical algorithm, so don’t blame me for the song placement. Blame math. Also, please note that I have a 101 degree temperature as I write this.
55. “The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades” – Sufjan Stevens (2005)
So Sufjan is pretty okay with wordplay. That’s what this song accomplishes lyrically. But he can also compose a beautiful musical piece. This is a beautiful musical piece.
54. “No Such Thing” – John Mayer (2001)
For a pop song your mom likes, John Mayer manages to expel some pretty good social and existential commentary. Kudos, John Mayer.
53. “Toxic” – Britney Spears (2003)
This is a great, solid pop song. Britney had plenty of amazingly well-executed smash hits pre-meltdown. I’m not sure who deserves that credit, but it certainly isn’t her. Regardless…
52. “Mosh” – Eminem (2004)
I’m a sucker for a good expression of the first ammendment. Eminem is one of the few leaders in the social commentary area of the decade, which is probably why I love him so much. This song always gives me chills, an honor bestowed on only a few songs throughout history.
51. “Map of the Problematique” – Muse (2006)
What an awesome, beautiful song. The only problem to me, is that this song can’t decide if it’s an existential love song or some sort of social commentary song. Whatever it is, it’s one of those engagingly trippy songs characteristic of Muse that just pulls you in.
50. “Clocks” – Coldplay (2002)
It’s a pretty song. It’s also a reminder of how bad Coldplay was before they met Brian Eno.
Okay, this song was frakking everywhere. It would have been annoying if this song wasn’t totally awesome. Apparently this song has something to do with Jesus. Good luck figuring that one out.
48. “Talking in Code” – Margot & the Nuclear So and So’s (2006) Why don't you have [Flash 9?] Ahh, the epic climax of the second act of The Dust of Retreat. For some reason, this song makes me feel like I’m watching someone prepare to commit a very poetic suicide. I don’t know why or what that means. I just hallucinated that I took my temperature but the thermometer was off. Also, typing temperature and thermometer was a big accomplishment. As was doing it again.
47. “For Emma” – Bon Iver (2007)
I know, it’s not even the most popular song from his album. But it’s the best. It has brass instruments.
46. “Firefly” – Saves The Day (2001) [Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.] What a great great song.
45. “Sing for the Moment” – Eminem (2002)
I’m pretty sure this is the best social commentary song of the decade, but take a listen for yourself. I report, you decide.
44. “Casimir Pulaski Day” – Sufjan Stevens (2005)
There’s something about this song that captures the essence of some kind of bittersweet teenage memory.
43. “Falling Slowly” – Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova (2007)
Aww. Once was such a well-executed movie. It really, really was. “Falling Slowly” is the kind of song that attaches itself to your emotions, but much like a Picasso painting or the script of Lost, it’s open to a wide variety of interpretations.
42. “Beautiful Day” – U2 (2000)
This song is hella annoying, but it’s U2. What makes it so great is how much it reminds one of what Coldplay would sound like if they were good. Maybe that’s just me, but if you think about it, you’ll think about it, too.
41. “Everything in Its Right Place” – Radiohead (2000)
This song has no meaning. It has no sense. But it’s awesome and entrancing.
40. “Dare” – Gorillaz (2005)
Not going to lie, I have a bit of contempt for the fandom surrounding this band and the cult of Damon Albarn, but I’m trying to be impartial. This song is good. Also meaningless. Maybe it’s a British thing?
39. “Dear Mr. President” – Pink (2006)
They really don’t make protest songs like they used to. This song is the exception. “Dear Mr. President” is the standout protest song of the decade. It’s simple, straightforward and it directly addresses the problem with little to no symbolism. It’s like a rant put to music. I remember being in phys. ed. one day in high school and this came on MTV, everyone was transfixed. Beautiful. If you try really hard and you’re just a little bit ignorant, you can even make this song about Barack Obama. The more things change the more they stay the same.
38. “Numb/Encore” – Jay-Z & Linkin Park (2004)
Welcome to the greatest mash-up of the decade, perhaps of all time. Of all time. These guys put out a whole album of Jay-Z/Linkin Park mash ups. Yes, really.
37. “Gold Digger” – Kanye West feat. Jamie Foxx (2005)
Even if this is a money-cash-hoes song, there’s something enthralling about it.
36. “Wake Up” – Arcade Fire (2004)
Who knew Arcade Fire had it in them to create the indie anthem of 2009. Also check out the David Bowie version.
I’m going to go promptly fucking mdie. Good night Vietnam. Come back tomorrow for the next 15!!!!
This is a list of what I consider to be the best songs of the decade. It has been assembled using a mathematical algorithm, so don’t blame me for the song placement. Blame math.
Kid Cudi is always dancing a fine line with me. His lyrics and melodies are certainly progressive in the world of mainstream hip-hop, but he also tends to rely too much on the hard-partying, hedonistic rich black man archetype lyrical substance. Listening to Kid Cudi is kind of like watching an interview with Ron Paul: you think you like him when he starts talking about corporatism and government overspending, then he starts talking about how evolution is a lie and you find yourself with your face in your palms. I can dig Kid Cudi, for the most part however. He’s obsessed with space.
74. “Party Hard” – Andrew W.K. (2002)
I mean, this song kicks ass. How can you not be compelled to party hard after hearing this song? Andrew W.K. is also one of the coolest people ever. He’s a motivational speaker, too. There’s something spectacular about a guy running around in tight, white clothing cheering people up with hard rock music.
73. “Attack” – 30 Seconds to Mars (2005)
There’s no telling how much the Jared Leto fangirl army has corrupted the Netflix rating for Requiem for a Dream, but the fact remains that 30 Seconds to Mars has been successful outside of the realm of 16-year-old girls. They have catchy tunes and lyrics that actually make a bit of sense, something rarely seen from a screamo band.
72. “Bale Out” – RevoLucian (2009)
This song is brilliant, hilarious and hypnotizing. Every time I hear it, I laugh at first and then become entranced by it. Before I know it, 2 minutes and 47 seconds have passed and I just heard the “fuck” word 82 times. I think it’s necessary to laugh at celebrities when they do embarrassing stuff, it reminds them that they’re public property. Christian Bale was totally awesome about this, too. And you know what? That’s because he’s an awesome actor. He doesn’t have to try. On a side note, I find it hilarious to hear this while watching a video that slowly zooms in on pictures of Christian Bale doing random things.
71. “Let’s Make This Moment a Crime” – The Format (2003)
Even though this song was on the 7th greatest album of the decade, the fact is that the songs don’t hold up well individually. This is the strongest song that sounds just as good without the concept of the album to back it up. The Format was certainly onto some sort of formula with this album, but something just didn’t add up and their singles just didn’t work out. It’s a shame. Also, I have no idea what the hell this song is about.
70. “A Tender History In Rust” &ndas; Do Make Say Think (2008)
The video for this song is great, I’ll give it that. I’m not too much a fan of DMST, and maybe the video influenced my affinity for this song, but I stand by its placement on the list. DMST usually just bores me, but this makes me think of all kinds of pretty, autumn-y things and that’s nice. I feel like it’s easy to get lost in this song.
69. “Crazy In Love” – Beyonce feat. Jay-Z (2003)
When “Crazy In Love” hit the radio waves it was hailed as a turning point in top 40 music. This song is great and transformative and quintessentially Beyonce, but you can only listen to it so many times in a week before you take it out of your playlist. Maybe I’ve just heard it too many times in the 6 and a half years its been around, but it’s probably it’s just one of those “use sparingly” songs that is mostly useful to reminisce to.
68. “Fake Palindromes” – Andrew Bird (2005)
Andrew Bird will never be as good as he was in the 90s (especially with Music of Hair), but this song stands out in his 00s work. The lyrics are characteristically nonsensical, but I can dig the catchy tune. Monsters? Monsters that walk the Earth.
67. “Caught By The River” – Doves (2002) [Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.] Doves is one of those great, underexposed bands that will never get the exposure they seem to be worthy of, but that’s okay because it keeps them accessible. Doves, like so very few bands in the music industry, has the great ability to infuse strong emotions into vague, detached songs. This song has a great sense of finality and closure to it. Hey, it’s also the last song on the album!
66. “Here It Goes Again” – OK Go (2005)
Do you remember how this song was freaking everywhere for a while there? I don’t know it song caught on because it’s great or because of the video, but it has caught on and it remains a good song even after four years. OK Go has been very hit-and-miss over the years, and it’s very likely they will always be best remembered for this. Not a bad thing if you ask me.
65. “Banana Pancakes” – Jack Johnson (2005)
Even though Jack Johnson’s lyrics make less than zero sense most of the time, he has a great ability to make perfect songs to chillax to on a lazy day. Yeah, chillax. That’s really the only way to explain it.
64. “Don’t Stop Believing” – Glee Cast (2009)
Okay. This is a serious guilty pleasure. This song is not only a great cover, but it signifies the beginning of the cultural phenomenon that has become of Glee. Yes, it’s a cultural phenomenon. You know this if you’ve ever spent a Wednesday evening on any social media site (especially Twitter and Tumblr). Match modernism with Broadway and one of the greatest rock songs of all time, and there’s no way you can lose.
63. “Lady Marmalade” – Christina Aguilera, Lil’ Kim, Mya and Pink (2001)
I remember seeing news segments explaining the lyrics of this song. I saw articles talking about the feminine power dripping from this song. It was the greatest thing ever. It has, for the most part, withstood the test of time. Only, it’s so overexposed that the highest rank it could muster is a mere #65. You gotta have love and appreciation, though, for the sheer power of this song.
The original version of this song is terribly annoying, but Justice fixes everything. This song was nominated for a Grammy.
61. “I’m Yours” – Jason Mraz (2008) [Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.] After Jason Mraz’s sophomore album was given the shaft by the mainstream music culture, I was super-happy to see my boy getting some recognition with this song. Then I started seeing it more. And more. And more. This song was freaking ev-ery-where. It’s just so catchy, though, so how can you hate it? It’s about getting high and being on a beach or something.
60. “Light On a Hill” – Margot & the Nuclear So and So’s (2006)
Did the Jason Mraz song make you too happy? Perfect, here’s some super-depressing apathy music from the second act of Margot’s first album. Richard Edwards finds himself lyricaly strong in this song, perhaps the most so in all of the songs he’s written. It’s not heartbreaking, it’s just sad, in an uncomfortable way. But what is music without a bit of emotional affection?
59. “Halloween” – Matt Pond PA (2005)
This song marked a turning point in my life. It was on what remains to be my favorite mix tape of all time, a mix tape of songs for the autumn, given to me by my dear friend Ryan. It so beautifully represents to me the existentialism of growing up and finding pleasure in the death that comes with autumn. “Halloween” remains one of the most listened-to songs in my life.
58. “Ten Million Slaves” – Otis Taylor (2008)
Otis Taylor is all about bringing back classical Southern colored-folks music. He’s all about hard guitars, the banjo and simple lyrics and delivery. “Ten Million Slaves” is likely his greatest achievement, but that’s from the perspective of a white Chicago girl. His albums, as individual concepts, are masterpieces.
57. “A Children’s Crusade On Acid” – Margot & the Nuclear So and So’s (2008)
More with the Margot. This was the first song released from their second album, and was significant of their musical departure from crushingly depressing songs to just mildly depressing songs. It has a bit more warmth than any of the other songs on either of their albums, and stands out on Animal! as one of the most musically inventive.
56. “Loud Pipes” – Ratatat (2006)
Ratatat will probably never outdo the musical accomplishment of Classics, the album from which this song hails. This is perhaps the only song on the album with some form of tangible emotion, which makes it stand out as a more affecting song than more melodically successful songs such as “Wildcat”.
Okay, folks. You’ve waited for this. You’ve been anticipating this. The time is now! I’ve compiled a list of what I consider to be the 10 greatest albums of the 2000s and this is the winrar. I should mention I’ve never listened to Portishead or The Mars Volta, but those guys suck so my taste is very much to be trusted.
1. Margot & the Nuclear So and So’s – The Dust of Retreat (2006) You should have seen this coming ten miles away. This album is not the most transforming for me, it did not save my life, it did not help me through any sad times or see me through any happy ones. But the first time I heard it, this album engraved in my brain a photograph of where I was, who I was and what was happening to me. Every time since has been exactly the same: after the opening chords I am inescapably pulled into the magnificent world which this album so delicately weaves. Aided by Richard Edwards’ apathetic vocals and the chilling feeling of being deep inside the world of a Wes Anderson film, the first track has the unrelenting ability to sink me from absolutely any mood down into the vulnerable, cold feeling of nihilism and heartbreak. After the opening credits comes the proverbial overture to the journey of the next 40 minutes. And then comes the story. The Dust of Retreat is a story of love, self-destruction, apathy, of pain and numbness and of moving on—and it’s told over trippy keyboards, blaring trumpets and an ever-refreshing assortment of percussion. The album closes and the story ends with an eerily uplifting song that instills in you a feeling which can only be compared to watching snow fall untouched in the dead of night.
When you’ve listened to an album as much as I’ve listened to this, you’re bound to assign meaning and value where it isn’t due. Perhaps there is no story in this album, and my obsession has led me to fabricate a fantastical narrative to serve my own intent, needs and ideas. Perhaps. Perhaps the album is a 45-minute metaphor not meant to be understood. Perhaps its beauty and profundity is in its vagueness. The fact remains that I have written thousands of words about this album in the two years I’ve known it, and can write thousands more at will. The Dust of Retreat is a triumph of pure, musical talent from the group of artists who crafted it and without a doubt the life-defining work of the lyricist Richard Edwards. In the future, I may fall in and out of love with other music, other artists and albums. This, however, will always remain in my weekly rotation, as it has for the past two years. And it will always, always drag me into a vulnerable, cold feeling of nihilism and heartbreak, through the pain of numbness and lift me out again feeling oddly accomplished. Note: this album should be first listened to all in one sitting. You have to stop and think about it to really get the pleasure about the complexity.
